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How to create a family code word your child will actually use
A family code word is one of the simplest safety tools there is. It's a word only your family knows (some families call it a safe word).
If someone your child doesn't expect says "Your mum sent me to pick you up", your child asks for the word. No word, no going.
Why it works
HealthLink BC, the British Columbia government's health service, advises teaching children not to go with anyone, under any circumstances, unless that person knows the code word.
NCMEC calls this situation "the friend trick": someone tells a child they've been sent by a parent. Sometimes that person really does know the parent, which is exactly why a word works better than a face.
How to choose a good one
- Easy for your child to remember and say out loud.
- Hard for anyone else to guess. Not your pet's name, your street, their favourite team or anything you've posted online.
- Silly is good. Two words that don't belong together, like "purple pancake", stick in a child's mind. Just don't use that one, now it's on the internet.
- Never your child's name, or anything written on their bag or clothes.
- Kept in your heads, not on paper your child carries or in group chats.
How to use it
- Your child asks "What's our word?" whenever someone unexpected offers to collect them or take them anywhere.
- No word means they don't go. They stay where they are and tell a teacher or another adult they trust.
- If you do send someone, give them the word.
- Once it's been used, pick a new one.
It's also worth asking your child's school to check with you first before releasing your child to anyone else.
Older children can use the word the other way round, too. Texted or said on a call, it can mean "come and get me, and don't ask in front of everyone". It's an easy way out of a sleepover or party that's gone wrong.
Practise until it feels normal
Role-play it at home. "Hi, your dad said I should take you for an ice cream." Let your child ask for the word, and praise them for asking even when it feels a little rude.
That's the point. Being safe matters more than being polite.
It protects grown-ups too
Code words aren't just for children any more. In December 2024 the FBI advised families to create a secret word or phrase to check each other's identity, because criminals now use AI to fake voices.
The same family word can protect grandparents from a fake emergency call that sounds just like you.
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Our code word kit
How to pick your family code word, the rules to agree, and reminder cards your child can carry that never show the word.
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Babysitter info sheet
Emergency numbers, your address, the kids' allergies and bedtimes, and the house rules, all on one page.
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Our school run
Who's doing drop-off and pick-up each day, the walking route, and what your child does if nobody turns up.
We're building Mya'Shield, an early alert device that lets parents know when something seems off. Simple habits like a code word come first.